did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
