you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need moral support for this bender
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize