He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
