Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
