also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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