we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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