how do flat chested girls get laid?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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