i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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