We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
