My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
