Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
