I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
