i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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