You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
