Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
