I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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