no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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