You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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