I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
