Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
