got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize