windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love you. Go after that dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
