So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
