areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
