I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Enjoy the penises
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
