I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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