We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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