dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize