we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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