We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
