Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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