Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My dick has a subreddit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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