you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
