Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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