I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I just sharted jello shots
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
