Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's blow job season.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
