oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
