She said her name was "party"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
