why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
