wakey wakey hands off snakey
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
