no, he came in my armpit
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize