Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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