I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We are two peas in an std pod
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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