3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
