I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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