she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Semen is not good for contacts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
