My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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