do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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