I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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