i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
