matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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