No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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