in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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