Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
