Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
