hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
