Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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