I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
