I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I want is dick and wine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
